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What do humans understand?Dear God: More meatballs,Less spaghetti, please.Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?If there are, will I have to apologize?Dear God: Here is a list ofjust some of the things I must rememberto be a good Dog:1. I will not eat the cat’s food before he eatsit or after he throws it up.2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish,crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.3. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’sunderwear when he’s on the toilet.6. Sticking my nose into someone’scrotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.7. I don’t need to suddenly standstraight up when I’m under the coffee table.8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur beforeentering the house - not after.9. I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I. The girls sat but I stood as if addressing a royal council."I know you can make things happen, Uncle Jake," I began. "All the randomness of our tent mates can be altered by you." I don't make all the decisions, Jason," he said. "We basically draw names out of a hat." It took me a little time to get used to my family and its ways," I said with single-mindedness to get to my point.Jessica spoke up. "You have no problems with the family now, do you?."I smiled at her and then at the other two girls. "I have been made most welcome including last night with Laura." You have a new fan," said Jake. "Along with all the other women." We should all be fans of each other. I can see our unspoken family motto is 'Give Your Best To Each Other'." Yes. That's a good way to put it," commented Jake.I took a deep breath and said, "I have a request ... well, maybe a requirement. We have three nights left..." ... and you want each of these girls again," filled in Jake."No," I corrected. "I want all three.
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